Legion De Swanque D'honneur
1.Matthew Paris(anag-THAT ARSE WIMP) Swank Points 100+ New entry	Former MP and Times columnist revealed foot & mouth fears for his FIVE pet Llamas 'Llesley' 'Imp' 'Knapp' 'Janq'u' & 'Miranda'
2.Nick Bateman Swank Pts 94 NEW ENTRY	Big Brothers 'Nasty' Nick reveals new bleachy blonde showbiz hairdo-A warning to us all.
=3.Damian Hirst Swank Pts 90	Sold 'work of art' consisting of some drugs on a shelf.nnnnnnice
=3 The Bloke Who bought the above Swank Pts90	Wanker
4.Chris Eubank Swank pts 88	The 'Thultan Of Thwank' has left the building
5.Mick McSorley Swank Pts 76	Thanks for your votes,I'd just like to thank.....etc
6.Hear'Say Swank Pts 68	General Swankery/ detachment from reality syndrome
7.Robbie Williams Swank Pts66	'Our Wobbie' invited Arsenal team to his concert after match with Bayern.Spotted in crowd 'listening to a German'
8.Vanessa Swank pts 57	Sulking/wanking revelation/leather trousers/F**k Off!  outburst.
9.Jordan Swank Pts 55 NEW ENTRY	Generously-jugged Jordan jiggled her jellies at a charity bash and invited passers-by to cop a mash.

"Such opportunities for reflection and calm analysis  are rare upon this voyage.The crew esconced below deck with their robust tomfoolery,I can at last seek the sanctity of my own solitude and the heavenly companionship of breaking wind"- Charles Darwin

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A Song For Fry Actor and 'Greatest Living Englishman' Stephen Fry has taken three classic song titles and renamed them in his own inimatable style,but what are they? 1."Mater,it would appear to be the case,that at this precise moment,we would all appear to be suffering some form of phychosis" 2."I rendered the appointed official devoid of life( But I baulk at any suggestion that I did likewise to his non-commissioned understudy)" 3."Margaret could possibly be persuaded"